The Beast Taming Machine

The Lunar New Year is coming soon. It is a tradition that the relatives from all over the place will once again reunite in the hometown. Relatives for sure will bring along their young ones along in a yearly event. Individually they are cute by nature, they will listen to you, and do what exactly you told him/her to do or don't, cute little angel aren't they?

They are best described as Gremlins, when you put more than one together, then all hell break loose. The curse of the demon invested Gremlins become evil and their evilness multiplies exponentially when you put more than one together. Their parents will have hard time taming those little beasts on the loose.

Those little demons are running up and down infesting the entire house as if it is their borderless playground. They will just grab and play with whatever they find interesting without your consultation in advance. Smashing and jamming my classical antique piano; playing fetch with the Angel Fish in the aquarium; just to name a few.

Instead of reunion, it is more like a Gremlin party. If you ever watched that movie Gremlins, it is the exactly what is happening in my house during Chinese New Year. The family and parents will be exhausted instead of enjoying a great reunion time.

However, I bought a new Gremlin taming device. This device is a miracle device I must say. This device is able to tame those nasty creatures so effective and so easy. I placed this device in the study room. Those Gremlins will automatically hook into this trap every time without failure. You can see their eye shines and grab the taming device and will never let go. They will shout, cheer, cry, and even fight to their death for this device. Once they hooked on it, they will start swinging, jumping, yelling, they will do what Gremlins do best, but they will stay inside the study room for hours and never bother to anyone or anything.
It is great for any reunion gathering, parents will enjoy the reunion instead of taming the untamed.

It is a great beast taming device. It is the device that every reunion gathering must have. This device is proven the miracle of modern technology, it is commonly known as Wii.

Russell Peters show extended on 2nd November at the Rock Auditorium

I missed Russell Peters' original schedule on 3rd and 4th November 2008, and I was ready to bid on ebay.com.sg for some overpriced and jacked up price by eBayer newbie or yellow cow tickets* just to get a place to see his live performance.

I learnt something useful from Russell Peters' site weeks ago. Russell Peters' newsletter actually didn't work. I received no email notification on any single shit about his performance schedule; his newsletter is good for nothing. By the time I login to his site and found out his schedule in Singapore, the ticket already sold out, and I read somewhere that his two days show ticket was sold out within 2 days after release date.

I thought I must have not signed up his news letter. Just on the safe side, I sign up again, and confirmed that my email is in his mailing list. But on the safe side, I still regularly checked his site just as insurance.

Yesterday I checked his site again. And yes! The official schedule added one more show in Singapore and looks like it is still available. I read the write up, seems like the ticket just opened on yesterday. I felt excited and pissed off at the same time. Excited because the show was extended, and I got a chance to see his performance without paying a yellow cow priced ticket from eBayer! Pissed off because I still receive no schedule updates from his newsletter!

Without further delay, I quickly book two front row tickets. The system registered my seat on row G. Later I found out that row G is 7th row from the stage, 3rd row from the back of CAT 1. The ticket just open on Sunday 12pm, I got my ticket on the Monday evening and mine already sent all the way to the last three rows. In another word, 50% of tickets sold out within 24 hours. I was like, damn! I bet the ticket will be sold out by the next day. I guess it is proven that to what I read about the ticket to his 2 days show was sold out within 4 days.

*Yellow Cow Ticket: Black market ticket, normally more expensive than the official price.

Russell Peters, please extend your show in Singapore

Yesterday I get to know Russell Peters is coming to Singapore on 3rd and 4th November 2008 to perform a live show in The Rock Auditorium while I was checking his site. Oh great! That's good news! The fucking bad news is I only get to know it yesterday and the ticket was completely sold out, not even a single corner seats! And to date is just about 2 weeks after the ticket open for sale! All the time I was hoping to see his performance live, and I will be damn regret for not able to see once his live performance before I die.

For those who have no idea who Russell Peters is. He is a Canadian-born Indian stand-up comedian who is well-known with his unique observational jokes especially his racism, multiculturalism and stereotypes related. His first official DVD "Russell Peters: Outsourced" was released on 2006. If you don't have it, look for it, it is superior performance; it is one of the stage comedies that you can never get tired regardless how many times you watch it. His coming soon DVD "Russell Peters: Red, White and Brown" just released today in Canada, and will be available in the rest of the world very soon.

I can't wait that long to watch it, so I am downloading it from my regular torrent site, and it should be done in just a few hour time. No, no, no, Russell, before you categorize me as one of your "downloading bastards", I appreciate your performance and I am buying your DVD. I will definitely get it when it is available in Amazon.com next month just as I did with Outsourced DVD. I love your comedy, and I have no problem to support your great effort. I hope you will release your DVD in Bluray format too, as I am buying Jeff Dunham's all 3 Bluray albums this coming November, regardless I already own all his albums in DVD now.

I really regret for not to know your schedule in Singapore earlier, I hope your performance will extend a day so that more people can enjoy it.

How to evaluate second hand old camera lenses

Some important lesson you should know about photography. Not about taking pictures, but evaluating second lenses that you are buying from either friends, eBayers, or some weird shits of source, like somebody wearing big raincoat, open and flashed his internal raincoat revealing his zoom lens... You get the idea.

Beside checking the no-brainer fungus, scratches, cosmetic defects, in fact there is a little bit more than that and also more important things to look for.

Here are some basic guide and tips what you should do and what you should look for:

1. Always meet up with the seller, test it yourself to ensure the lens condition. Buy the lens without meeting up is rather risky especially on the premium quality lenses. I would not buy a lens without first checking the condition out. Photos via email is unlikely accurate.

2. Bring your body. No, not THAT body! I mean your camera body you moron! Always bring your body along to test the lens. A. Make sure it works on your camera. B. You know your camera control better than anyone else.

3. Check for lens fungus. This is a no-brainer. Just open up the aperture, look into the lens thru sunlight, or use torch light shine inside the reveal anything hidden inside. You should see the lens has something looks like spots of spider web. You may spot the fungus on any part of the lens including the front part, rear part, and also internal part.

4. Check for lens scratches. This is another no-brainer. Same technique applied as #2. Only look for any scratches. Usually it is on the front part of the lens. Rear part is unlikely, but still possible. Best is checking it with torch light.

5. Check for mounting. The mounting should fit nicely and firm. Once you snap on your camera, it should be firm. When you power up, the body should detect the lens without any problem. If the body failed to detect the lens, it means either your body or the lens are having problem with the connection. You know your body well. If your body ever has problem with other lenses, then it should be that lens giving the problem.

6. Check for the zoom ring. Check the zoom ring if it is a zoom lens. A good condition of zoom ring should be smooth. When you turn from one end to another end should feel smooth and can be easily twisted with only your thumb and middle finger. At both end, you should feel something like hitting a wall, a confirmed end with a "tapping" sound. If you feel some soft landing at either end of the zoom, without a tapping sound, or hitting a wall. It is the syndrome that the zoom ring is wearing off. Need to get it fixed before the zoom ring malfunctioning.

7. Check for Focus ring. Same technique applied as #6.

8. Check for Aperture ring. If the lens comes with aperture ring, make sure it works and turns smoothly. Try some stress test on the aperture ring. Turn from one end to another, and make sure your body detects it correctly.

9. Check for Auto Focus. AF should work flawless. Beside the no-brainer make sure it focus on the spot, also check for the speed of the AF, make sure no hiccups and smooth. Apart of that, If it is SWM lens (or USM in Canon terminology), check for any squeaking sound. A good condition SWM should be total silence. The squeaking sound are results from intensive usage. The squeaking sound is similar to the sound you hear from some bus flooring on the break, only much more softer that you need to be reasonable quiet place to hear that. The squeaking sound are results from friction on ultrasonic motor that caused by over usage. It may also degrade your AF performance, such as jerky and slow AF. If non-SWM lenses with regular noised motor, check for the speed and smoothess. Just like your car, if you hear loud and abnormal noise coming from your car, it is some indication that you should send your car to check up and service. It may cause permanent damage beyond repair if you don't fix it.

10. Check for VR (IS in Canon terminology). Similar concept as #9.

11. If you have no experience on the above all tips, try not to act like an expert. Meet up with the seller with a 3rd party camera shop which has greater experience in evaluating, repairing and servicing lenses, let them do the evaluation for you, both buyer and seller should listen to their professional point of view. Then both of you will know what is the real condition is. Most of all, ask him for a quotation for servicing it if required. Then use it as bargain point. Just like buying a second hand car. You may bring along your trusted mechanics to evaluate the car you are interested to buy, how much it worth, and how much to restore it.

Hope these few tips can help you one way or another. Any questions feel free to ask.

巴士奇遇记

已靠近亥时了，我在巴士站等候已预定前往星加玻的长途夜班巴士。当然也不只我一个，除了我的平时车票代售经纪陪同我，在这时间也有其他几位，相信也是跟我等同一班车吧。车票代售经纪与我聊一聊，呆了几十分钟，巴士终于到了。有如所有的乘客，各自排好队，准备上车。上了车，各自都忙着找各自的坐位及手上的行李。我再看回我车票再次的确定我的座位。

在这时，站在我前面的几位搭客都停站在走廊中。我心想该是座位安排又出现问题了吧。果然不出所料，站在第一位的，一位已上了年纪，头上剩下无多根又短又白的头发，身穿着一短袖，下身穿着松松的短裤，样子让你联想到在槟城岛中一般三轮车夫的阿伯。这阿伯在跟一位太太已坐在座位，样子只不过是一般在菜市场常见的师奶争论着。照他们的一举一动显示，原来那 太太 师奶的原位是在她目前座位的前面，因为原位的椅子出现了一些小问题，椅子只能躺下，不能挺直，所以就霸坐后一排的座位，也不见得她愿意就轻易地回原位，就是要其他的人跟她换位就对了。争论了不久，“就算椅子坏了，你也要坐回原位！不是理由可以随便霸占其他人的位！” 阿伯生气地骂了她，加上几双眼睛的压力之下，那师奶没办法，也只好让位，坐回原位。

在这时，奇怪的事就发生了。被师奶霸占的座位就给站在阿伯后面的一位少男坐下了，反而不是阿伯。我呆了一呆，到底什么一回事呢？我再看回那阿伯，想起了，原来他是本巴士的其中一个车票代售经纪，相信那年轻人是这位阿伯的顾客吧。之前有一次遇过阿伯，都没让我留下好的印象。我继续走向我的座位，但这阿伯却照我去某个座位。

“我的座位是十七号的。”我向阿伯说。“没关系啦，这座位也是一样的。” 阿伯 老头子回答。在这时，我发现原来我的座位让他其中的一位顾客霸占了，我就开始有点愤怒，又不见得不到一分钟前的他对他的那位少男顾客讲这一番话，势利小人，简直就是千年难得一见的级品，岂有此理，正想一拳就把他剩没几棵的烂门牙打掉。我再看回霸占了我的座位的乘客，原来是一位年轻外表满好看的一位靓女。“对不起，这座位是我的。”我对这一位靓女说。就在这时候，她不见得是无意占了我的座位，并没有让位的表示，而且没觉得不好意思，“你坐我的座位可以吗？我不想坐在男子的旁边”。她这一句话让我非常的震荡。我翻过去看，原来是只不过是一位中年的印度人，虽然在灯光不足之下，但也可以看得到他样子的确有点抱歉，但表面上看五官端正，不像一般电影里出现的变态色魔，不见得有什么问题，万一真的是变态色魔，谁会预料得到呢？又或者他是只搞同性的呢？那我不就自找麻烦？我心里猜想，“这 靓女 丑陋的女人，如果不是性别歧视，就是种族歧视。看来她就是摆明地强求。”如果她好好地向我要求，我都会不妨考虑，而且通常我都不会拒绝，特别是靓女。但这次我破例，纯粹是因为那势利小人的老头子，也要教训这先斩后揍又丑陋的女人。“我看我们还是坐回原位来得好。”在我坚持之下，那丑陋的女人也拿我没办法，只好坐回原位。

这时候，面皮厚厚的老头子过来向我塞过来一张名片，“下次如果要车票，联络我，我算你便宜一点。”。我开始觉得有点无奈，更加懒得理会这无赖的老头子，我假装忙着把背包放好位置，当耳边风。我以为可以就此打发他，但他还是又如上一次遇见他的老样子，勉强地把他的烂名片塞在我手中，“做个朋友也可以吧，有需要就联络我吧。”说完就掉头走下车了。“别说便宜一点，就算送我车票，我都不会向你这小人要！”我心想。我连看他的名片都懒得，就把它扔掉，坐回原位，准备睡觉。

Free Refill

Last week I was in Singapore. I was in one of the McDonald's outlets had a quick dinner while busy windows shopping around. Being cheapskate due to the currency exchange, I decided to have a refill and take away with it. I went to the counter and passed one of the crews my empty paper cup and expect them to give a free refill. He looked at me dumbfucked as I was some kind of three-headed monkey having sex on a tree brunch. "Refill please" I told the crew. "It will be chargeable for refill" the crew replied. dumbfucked I was. Then it was the first time I learnt that there is no refill policy in all Singapore McDonald's from a hard way. And yes, I also found out that and not even Burger King has refill policy in Singapore too! Fuck!

It is a norm to Malaysians that we always has free drink refill in many of the food chains. Not sure why there isn't any free refill in Singapore, but my guess would be they are making heavy lost due to policy abusing. Maybe bunch of crazy school kids came over everyday after school, ordered only one micro-sized soft drink and hogging all the available tables in the restaurant, shared that particular cup of soft drink with the entire classmate, and asked for a free refill whenever they ran out of cracks. which is ideal place to do their homework. Table, chair, aircon, you can get in the library, but free soft drink you can only get it in McDonald's!

So far I still haven't seen any restaurant has free drink refill in Singapore yet. Hell fuck... Even the tea in Japanese Restaurant food chain here are charging for green tea refill! Which is just... hot water with some green leaves . How pethetic.

Numbers of the fast food chain franchises such as Burger King, Nando's, and McDonald's have free soft drink bottomless policy, just as added value service and keep customers happy. If you never know about this, good for you, it is time for you to learn something useful here which can save you quite a lot of money down the road from it and reserve it for your diabetes medical bill results from over doze sugar intake.

Most people know it is a written policy for Burger King, as you walked into BK and you should be able to see many of these big ass posters with "FREE SOFT DRINK REFILL" all around the premises. You are welcome to bring your empty disposable paper cup to the counter and ask for a refill and they are happy to do it for you.

If something worth doing, it is worth over do. Some BK outlets has even more crazier kind of setup – they have a dedicated big ass soft drink machines outside the counter along with the dinning tables area to provide easier access for the customers to do a self-service refill. You are free to mix your own soft drink cocktail. Be it Coke + Sprite, 100Plus + Grapes, with or without ice cubes, you get the idea, just like 7-Eleven, but with refillable policy. The staff will pass you an empty paper cup and expect you to DIY from the drink machine yourself if you would dine-in.

For McD, the soft drinks are refillable as well, just go to the counter and ask for it. McD always are target for many cheapskate couples or students who are either too cheapskate or try to save a buck for more condoms will usually get the smallest size for less than RM2, share the drink, and refill many rounds as possible. McD may not have a big ass soft drink machines for you to DIY, but often they leave a jug of Coke at the corner of the counter and you can freely pour more to your cup. Sometimes if the crowd is not too busy, the crew would even proactively go around the tables with a jar of coke and offer the customers some refill. Some cheapskate couple will likely abuse their policy by order just a small French Fries and small drink, and sit there spent their whole day with the partner, save the money for more condoms later evening, or students with little or no income to hangout after school hour ordered the food and drink, share the single cup of coke with the entire class of classmates and refill dozens of time and spend the whole afternoon doing homework there while enjoying the free refill and aircond. Better than staying in the boring and stuffy canteen anytime. To the extreme cheapskate, you can even keep the emptied paper cup and revisit some other outlet or some other time and ask for a free refill. I am sure the crew has no problem to give you rounds of refill. But not sure anyone has done such thing before. Definitely not me, I maybe cheapskate, but not that cheapskate yet.

I had this funny little experience with McD when I was there chatting with couple of friends for longer period than normally I would spend my time in it. I was playing with the emptied paper cup I had and I started to torn my emptied paper cup apart just for fun and no particular reasons. One of the crew came to our table and with their regular refill jug of Coke and offered us some refill. Since my torn my cup, it will eventually become a true "bottomless refill" if I would do that. So I kidded with the crew "I've torn my cup, do you think you can get me a new cup instead?". The crew then replaced my torn cup with a new cup with a filled Coke. I was completely speechless and dumbfucked. Talk about customer satisfaction guaranteed. On average, I usually refill half cup, as I don’t consume that much of sugar at once.

For Nando's, they are pretty much same, except it is more expensive than McDonald's and I can’t tear their cup apart as they are using glass instead of paper cup. Nando's famous Peri-peri Soup (Nando's famous chicken soup) is refillable as well, but there is a catch. If you pay RM3.50 just for the Peri-peri Soup, you are not allowed to refill, but if you pay RM7.00 for Peri-peri Soup with Garlic Bread, you are allowed to have bottomless soup and garlic bread refill.

Fish & Co. used to have bottomless refill too with their famous Kola-Tonic, and I really love the taste of it. But then they changed their refill policy to 50% off for bottomless refill. Example, if you pay RM5.00 for the first round, and top up additional RM2.50 and you can enjoy bottomless refill. But recently they’ve changed their policy again to 50% off for each refill policy. Now, if you pay RM5.00 for the first round, and RM2.50 for each subsequent refill. Bad news for camel-like drinker.

Dumbass Cashier

Last Friday night I was on some local bus station; reason is I have planned a few days trip to outstation on bus instead of driving. I plan to leave my car on the car park around the bus station, and collect it after I am back, so that I don't have to trouble people to fetch me to and back from the bus station.

Being cheapskate as I am, I am looking for a safe place to park my car in somewhere safe, and free. But no such thing is free if you want somebody to guard your car. I round and round around, scout around for free empty spots, but no luck, even all the pedestrian walk are fully occupied by all the cursed Kancils.

Finally I have to settle down to some official car park prepared by the authorities of the local bus station, which is chargeable of course. You can tell the car park is pretty much expensive by the occupancy vs the illegal parking around it. Less than 90% are free in the official car park, but the illegal parking is pretty much could hardly even squeeze your ass in between.

As you know, they are very unlikely to publish their parking rates at the area before you turn in. And most likely the rates signboard are located next to the auto gate ticketing system, which is right at the entrance and you have no room to turn back even if you disagree with the price.

As I turned into it, the official rate written as follow:

RM1.00 per hour
RM20.00 for lost ticket

The rate is written clear enough even a dumbass would've understands it. However, it does not state the daily rate if I would leave my car for a night or two, perhaps they have special rates or something.

I took the ticket, the auto gate opened and I find myself a spot to mark. Parked my car, and try to talk to the staff who is sitting inside the exit toll collection booth.

Me: "Do you have daily rates?"

Cashier: "No"

"What if I parked now, and get my car on Sunday evening?"

"That would be about RM50 if you count by hour"

"If like that, what if declare lost ticket on Sunday?"

"That would be RM20 for lost ticket"

"Ok, in that case, Sunday I'll declare lost ticket, and I will only pay RM20 instead of RM50 full rates."

"Yes but make sure you don't show the ticket."

*dumbfucked* "You eat too much chili or brain damage is it? Why would I to show the ticket if I would intend to declare a lost ticket?!?"

The dumbass cashier dumbfucked, and smiled without a word like a barbequed pig head.

Another proven incidence that cashiers are fucking dumb.